Spanking Shakespeare, by Jake Wizner

Spanking Shakespeare is a great book for teens. It's about a high-school senior, Shakespeare Shapiro, whose ultimate goal by the end of the year is to get laid. The problem is, he's never even had a girlfriend, and is widely ignored. He does have a good-looking friend named Celeste Keller, but she's taken... But her boyfriend is away at college. There's also the mysterious Charlotte White... Shakespeare is actually a great writer, despite his hatred of his name. He makes a list of possible virginity-takers, and starts on "the hunt." Will Shakespeare get laid, or will he go off to college a virgin, if he goes to college? I heartily recommend this book.

Guitar Hero: World Tour

I love this game. This game has it all: challenging guitar, fun bass lines, decent drums, and singing... The singing is a little touchy and the drum's bass pedal isn't the greatest, but I know it's not gonna snap. The song also has 84 songs on-disc. It's a great addition to any music lover's game collection.

Harold and Kumar

These movies are not for the faint of heart... Honestly, my mind is a little perverted at times. That's why I loved these movies! They're about two guys, Harold and Kumar, and their adventures on their way to White Castle and Amsterdam (H&K Go to White Castle, H&K Escape from Guantanamo Bay, respectively). It's a stoner flick, and if your sense of humor is like mine, you'll love 'em.

Rock Band

Hey, everybody. I, for some dumb reason, never mentioned Rock Band. It's fantastic! I just got the Track Pack as well. It has some downloadable songs that PS3 and XBox 360 could download, but the PS2 and Wii could not. Rock Band itself has about 80 or so songs and is generally challenging. I only just recently beat all of the guitar songs, and I've beaten every Guitar Hero game except for GHIII:LoR.

More to come!

Guitar Hero: Aerosmith

Wow, it's been a long time... Guitar Hero: Aerosmith was awesome, to me... The game itself was a little too easy, though... It had 6 tiers, I believe, with 2 covers and 3 Aerosmith songs. It got a little old, due to the lack of the difficulty the previous games had...

Comedy Central's Top 100 Comedians

Some should be here, some eh, not so much.
1. Richard Pryor - I can accept this
2. George Carlin - Fantastic!
3. Lenny Bruce
4. Woody Allen - Funny, but not top 5 funny
5. Chris Rock pretty good
6. Steve Martin
7. Rodney Dangerfield - Good, but not top 10
8. Bill Cosby - Not funny
9. Roseanne Barr - Not funny
10. Eddie Murphy
11. Johnny Carson
12. Jerry Seinfeld - Not funny
13. Robin Williams - should be higher than Seinfeld!
14. Bob Newhart
15. David Letterman
16. Ellen DeGeneres - She's ok...
17. Don Rickles
18. Jonathan Winters
19. Bill Hicks
20. Sam Kinison
21. Dennis Miller
22. Robert Klein
23. Steven Wright
24. Redd Foxx
25. Bob Hope
26. Ray Romano - Not funny...at all
27. Jay Leno - Good god no
28. Jack Benny
29. Milton Berle
30. Garry Shandling
31. George Burns
32. Albert Brooks
33. Andy Kaufman
34. Buddy Hackett
35. Phyllis Diller
36. Jim Carrey - higher
37. Martin Lawrence
38. Bill Maher
39. Billy Crystal - sucks
40. Mort Sahl
41. Jon Stewart - higher
42. Flip Wilson
43. Dave Chappelle - a bit higher
44. Joan Rivers - WTF? No.
45. Richard Lewis
46. Adam Sandler
47. Henny Youngman
48. Tim Allen - Not funny
49. Freddie Prinze
50. Denis Leary
51. Lewis Black - Should be much higher. Higher than Romano at least.
52. Damon Wayans
53. David Brenner
54. DL Hughley
55. Alan King
56. Colin Quinn
57. Richard Jeni
58. Larry Miller
59. Gilbert Gottfried
60. Jeff Foxworthy
61. Bobcat Goldthwait
62. Eddie Griffin
63. Jackie Mason
64. Richard Belzer
65. Cedrick the Entertainer - Well, he's pretty good...
66. Shelley Berman
67. Kevin Pollak
68. Dave Attell
69. Pat Cooper
70. Wanda Sykes - love her as an actress, never seen her stand-up
71. Red Buttons - who?
72. Bernie Mac
73. Billy Connolly
74. Paul Rodriguez
75. Eddie Izzard
76. Robert Schimmel
77. Paul Reiser
78. Sinbad
79. Dom Irrera
80. Bobby Slayton
81. Dick Gregory
82. Howie Mandel
83. Norm MacDonald - how is Howie Mandell higher?
84. Drew Carey
85. David Cross
86. Jay Mohr
87. Brett Butler
88. Paula Poundstone
89. Kevin James - little bit higher
90. Dana Carvey - higher!
91. Jim Breuer
92. Louie Anderson
93. George Wallace
94. David Alan Grier
95. Andrew 'Dice' Clay
96. Joey Bishop
97. Sandra Bernhard
98. Louis CK
99. Janeane Garofalo
100. Gallagher - the only thing funny about him is that people pay real money to see him
People they left out that are funny: Bill Engvall, Carlos Mencia, Sarah Silverman, Gabriel Iglesias, Ralphie May, Demitri Martin, Mitch Hedburg, Katt Williams. I mean, WTF?!

Guitar Hero: Aerosmith

Hi anyone who actually pays any amount of attention to me. I wanted to say that I'll be getting Guitar Hero: Aerosmith on or around the 29th of this month. Keep an eye out!

The Sims II: Pets

Hey everyone who may read this... Anyway, I've played TSII:P and I have to say it's a pretty decent game. Although it doesn't have a story mode, it still is enjoyable. It is difficult to keep more than one pet happy for very long. But it is a fun game to play. It would have been better with two player mode in it, though.

Thoughts on Certain Games 2

I, as I said in the "Notices", got Katamari Damaci and The Sims 2: Pets from the Library. Well, here goes.

1. Katamari Damaci: Okay, now, I had heard good things about this game. It was supposed to be really good and addicting. Now being addicting isn't always good (i.e. booze, tobacco, drugs, etc.). I'll give them this though, it is addicting. But that's only because it is next to impossible to complete. I just started the third level and your katamari ball starts out at 5cm and you have to get it to, get ready for it, 1 meter! That's 100 cm to you dumb people out there. And you have to do it in 8 minutes. It. Is. Hard. Almost impossible. Oh, and for all you people that don't know what this game is about, the King of the Cosmos killed the stars. wiped them out. You, as the Prince, have to roll katamaris, these weird sticky balls, and collect random items to make up all the stars. All-in-all, not a very good game to me. 6/10 Sequel: We Love Katamari Me: I Don't even like katamari.

I have to come back to do The Sims 2. I hope it's better than the Katamari disappointment. B back later.

Thoughts on Music

I am an avid music fan. The thing about me is I love all kinds of music. Music mind you! Not that sh*t that pretends to be music. I'll tell ya what I mean.

1. ROCK!!! I love rock 'n' roll! And metal, punk, classic and evry other kind known to man. The guitar, guitar solos, driving bass, pounding drums, the drum solos (if any), the fantastic vocals. Pure--almost orgasmic--bliss.

2. Country: I am considered weird--for this and other reasons--because I love rock and country. The amazing vocals, the slides, the steel guitar, and the country soul. I love it.

3. [c]Rap: Most of the time this stuff is dumb. There are some exceptions. Fack and Because I Got High are some examples. It's mostly people talking really, really fast. I will admit that talking as fast as some of the "crappers" do is impressive and would take some skill.

Later...for now!

Thoughts on T.V. Shows

Television is pretty much a staple in our society today. I don't think many people could keep themselves occupied for long without it. Some tv is great, no doubt. Others, I want to stab the characters in the eyes with a fork, or better yet, a spoon! In a really bad way!

1. The Colbert Report: Stephen T. Colbert is a comedic awesome. I'll admit that there's better comedians out there than him, but he's the best one that I know of that has a television show.

2. Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi: Now, these girls have some musical talent, and I admire that. But, their show sucked. The show had the girls, Ami and Yumi, as main characters. The characters' voices were supposedly done by each respective girl. If you've ever heard the girls sing in English, you'll know that they have a big Japanese accent. On the show, the accent was non-existant.

3. Mythbusters: I love urban legends/myths. This show is not only informative and interesting, it's entertaining and fun. The Mythbusters, Jamie Hynneman and Adam Savage, along with the build team, Grant Imahara, Tory Bellici, and Kari Byron, take myths that a lot of people might have heard of and test to see if they could even happen. First the replicate the circumstances, then they duplicate the results. If it doesn't work, they make the circumstances so that it does work. Oh, and they blow sh*t up too!

More to come!

Thoughts on Certain Games

All right, now some games are the best ever created. Others, eh, not so much. Here are some games that, well, just didn't make the cut in my book.


1. Wii Play: My fellow blogger, Myke, has pointed this one out. While I like the billiards, kinda, none of the other games are really enjoyable. "Find Mii"? Come on! It's "Where's Waldo" with 3D graphics and plain stupidity!

2. Aqua Aqua: I don't know if anyone else has even heard of this POS, but it's not even playable at all. I think I got it with my first ps2 all those years ago. I haven't played it since. I didn't even know wtf I was doing!

3. Harvest Moon: I have played Animal Crossing first (great game) and HM just paled in comparison.

4. Beyblade [something or other]: I used to like watching the show Beyblades. I don't know why... But, I thought this game might have some play value, but it had none at all and cheated. Dammit, that game was just stupid and didn't really make much sense.